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Satire

Sir, do you know how slow you were going? Pumpkin regatta satire

Cartoon in SNECK style on a park lake at golden hour, dark wood docks and warm lamp posts behind. On the left, a stout grey badger police officer with big white eyes, a navy peaked cap and a yellow sash sits inside a giant hollowed-out orange pumpkin used as a boat, a small blue police light on its stem. He points a chunky radar speed gun at the other boat and holds a small ticket book. On the right, a sweaty dalmatian firefighter in a red helmet sits in another giant pumpkin boat holding a wooden paddle, looking embarrassed. Behind them float a white buoy reading exeindex.com and a tiny wooden crate stenciled TOOTHPICKS. Caption: SIR, DO YOU KNOW HOW SLOW YOU WERE GOING?
EXE Index original cartoon (SNECK STUDIO, @exeindex) · EXE Index original

Satire / Cartoon. The West Coast Giant Pumpkin Regatta was held Sun Oct 18, 2026, 10 AM to 4 PM PT at Lake of the Commons, Tualatin, Oregon, per the City of Tualatin festival schedule and Tigard Today. Tualatin Life and KOIN 6 also listed the event. The 2:00 PM PT heat was scheduled to feature Tualatin Police, Tualatin Valley Fire & Rescue and Pumpkin Paddling Quest winners racing in hollowed-out giant pumpkins. Tualatin, Oregon police were set to race Tualatin Valley Fire & Rescue in hollowed-out giant pumpkins at Sunday's West Coast Giant Pumpkin Regatta, per the city and Tigard Today. Tigard Today says the pumpkins can weigh more than 1,000 pounds. No result or winner of the heat was reported. No one was hurt. Not a high-speed pursuit.

What
Sir, do you know how slow you were going? Pumpkin regatta satire
Where
North America, United States
When
Oct 18, 2026
Who
City of Tualatin (Tualatin Parks), Tigard Today, Tualatin Life
Status
Satire, marked as satire

Sources

  1. City of Tualatin (Tualatin Parks), festival details
  2. Tigard Today
  3. Tualatin Life
  4. KOIN 6
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Fingerprint (SHA-256): 59d272d1981489133d1739bfa855e84acb29e1dff2c502f8b647c75e0e9ba814

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