EXE INDEX satirehttps://exeindex.com/satire2026-10-18T00:00:00ZEXE Indexhttps://exeindex.com/https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-18-us-tualatin-pumpkin-regatta-satireSir, do you know how slow you were going? Pumpkin regatta satire2026-10-18T00:00:00ZSatire / Cartoon. The West Coast Giant Pumpkin Regatta was held Sun Oct 18, 2026, 10 AM to 4 PM PT at Lake of the Commons, Tualatin, Oregon, per the City of…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-18-cosmos-2612-not-touching-memeI'm not touching you: Cosmos 2612 and ICEYE-X362026-10-18T00:00:00ZSatire / Meme. Cosmos 2612 vs ICEYE-X36, day 2: Orbital Radar's pair-history tracking data (https://orbitalradar.com/conjunction/59103-68762) puts Russia's…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-18-bd-chattogram-toothpicks-satireThis toothpick has lenses: Bangladesh customs toothpick case2026-10-18T00:00:00ZSatire / Cartoon. A Bangladesh importer declared 22.5 tonnes of toothpicks from China; Chattogram customs found 1,620 kg of toothpicks, and the rest…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-18-ke-jkia-cleaner-backpacks-satireFunny you should ask: JKIA cleaner, 52 phones and 3 drones2026-10-18T00:00:00ZSatire / Cartoon. Kenya's KRA says customs officers clearing arriving passengers at JKIA spotted an airport cleaner leaving the terminal with two black…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-17-cosmos-2612-iceye-x36-memeIs this seat taken? Cosmos 2612 meets ICEYE-X362026-10-17T00:00:00ZSatire / Meme. Russia's Cosmos 2612 went from more than 200 miles away to roughly three miles from the US-owned ICEYE-X36 radar satellite in a day, LeoLabs…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-17-greater-noida-ncb-labs-memeLaptop work, right? NCB's Greater Noida rented-lab bust2026-10-17T00:00:00ZSatire / Meme. India's NCB says two secret drug labs in Greater Noida were run from rented premises. Operation Crystal Hunt seized 379.74 kg of…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-17-hormuz-iphones-tehran-memeIt fell off a ship: Hormuz iPhones reach Tehran2026-10-17T00:00:00ZSatire / Meme. iPhones fished from Hormuz after the GFS Pride sank now sell in Tehran below their original price, Iran's Fars agency says. Asked for 500, a…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-17-kenya-uk-land-rover-memeNew plate, who dis? Kenya's UK-stolen Land Rover2026-10-17T00:00:00ZSatire / Meme. Kenya's DCI says an INTERPOL check flagged a grey Land Rover Discovery in a Nairobi yard as stolen in the UK. It carried Kenyan plate KCY 001J…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-17-pittsburgh-zoo-pelicans-memeHow it started, how it's going: Pittsburgh Zoo pelicans2026-10-17T00:00:00ZSatire / Meme. Joey and Felicity, the Pittsburgh Zoo's two runaway pelicans, are home with no injuries, the zoo says. The rescue had help from river boats…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-17-us-cow-mud-spa-satireShe booked the 8-hour mud package: Florida cow rescue2026-10-17T00:00:00ZSatire / Cartoon. Florida deputies spent 8 hours pulling Veronica the heifer out of canal mud, per the Hillsborough sheriff and WFLA. She's unhurt. The…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-16-cy-larnaca-painting-satireA piece with surprising depth: Larnaca painting cannabis2026-10-16T00:00:00ZSatire / Cartoon. Cyprus customs officers inspecting a courier parcel at Larnaca Airport on Friday morning, Oct 16, 2026, found 11 packages of cannabis (6.110…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-16-hormuz-iphone-fishing-memeFishing for iPhones in the Strait of Hormuz2026-10-16T00:00:00ZSatire / Meme. The Telegraph reports hundreds of small boats fished for iPhones and French perfume from the GFS Pride, which sank Oct 14. Singapore's MPA says…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-16-tw-tank-median-ticket-satireParking enforcement fears nothing: tank stuck on median2026-10-16T00:00:00ZSatire / Cartoon. A Taiwan army tank rode up onto a Miaoli highway median Friday after a suspected brake failure. No one was hurt, per CNA and SETN. Police…https://exeindex.com/dispatches/2026-10-16-us-drone-ship-chow-satireZero crew, zero chow complaints: Navy drone ship deploys2026-10-16T00:00:00ZSatire / Cartoon. Acting Navy Secretary Hung Cao said on Thursday, Oct 15, 2026, at the AUSA conference that the Theodore Roosevelt Carrier Strike Group…https://exeindex.com/satire/jet-costs-more-than-the-countryLifetime Cost: Yes2026-10-16T00:00:00ZA fighter jet program with a price tag that needs its own zip code.https://exeindex.com/satire/missing-stealth-jet-posterMISSING: One Stealth Jet. Works Exactly as Advertised.2026-10-16T00:00:00ZThe military built a plane nobody can find, then asked the public to find it.https://exeindex.com/satire/pentagon-audit-sevenAudit #7: Define "Failed"2026-10-16T00:00:00ZThe building with 1,500 checkbooks takes its annual exam and grades itself on a curve.https://exeindex.com/satire/shell-too-expensive-to-fireThe Biggest Naval Guns Since WWII, Now in Display Mode2026-10-16T00:00:00ZA warship whose shells cost so much that the plan is mostly to admire them.https://exeindex.com/satire/crime-chart-executes-data-dumpcrime_stats.exe Executed a Data Dump2026-10-16T00:00:00ZA national crime chart switches systems and throws out about 40% of its agencies with the old one.https://exeindex.com/satire/spreadsheets-fight-over-crimeTwo Spreadsheets Enter. One Revision Leaves.2026-10-16T00:00:00ZThe same year's violent-crime number, as the first draft and as the quiet revision.https://exeindex.com/satire/designation-404-group-not-foundError 404: Group Not Found (Until Further Notice)2026-10-16T00:00:00ZA designation list where the same entry blinks on and off with each administration.https://exeindex.com/satire/caucus-app-partial-resultsResults: Recorded 100%. Reported: Vibes.2026-10-16T00:00:00ZAn election-night app that counted everything and told almost nobody.https://exeindex.com/satire/grand-opening-six-customersGrand Opening! Six Customers! Servers on Fire!2026-10-16T00:00:00ZA federal website launch day where the queue was short and the outage was long.https://exeindex.com/satire/airport-opening-soonOpening Soon™ (Since 2011)2026-10-16T00:00:00ZAn airport that kept its 'opening soon' sign long enough for it to become a landmark.https://exeindex.com/satire/carrier-elevator-out-of-orderElevator Out of Order. Ship In Service.2026-10-16T00:00:00ZThe world's most advanced aircraft carrier, defeated by the same thing as every office building.https://exeindex.com/satire/spare-part-4451-percentA $173 Part, Living Its Best Life2026-10-16T00:00:00ZA spare part that costs $173 to make, sold with a 4,451% margin. It now wears a crown.https://exeindex.com/satire/jet-stuck-in-software-updatePlease Do Not Turn Off Your Fighter Jet2026-10-16T00:00:00ZBrand-new jets roll off the line and straight into the update screen.https://exeindex.com/satire/chads-on-trialThe Chad Lineup2026-10-16T00:00:00ZFour punch-card chads in a police lineup, each one waiting for someone to interpret its feelings.https://exeindex.com/satire/missile-budget-overflowmissile_budget.exe Has Exceeded 100%2026-10-16T00:00:00ZA progress bar that hits 100% and keeps going. The program is certified to continue anyway.https://exeindex.com/satire/government-exe-restartgovernment.exe Is Restarting (Day 43)2026-10-16T00:00:00ZA progress bar that gets to 99%, then goes back to 1%, for forty-three days.https://exeindex.com/satire/phantom-farter-pointing-v1Who is the phantom farter?2026-10-16T00:00:00ZA mystery smell kept clearing the EU summit press room. POLITICO asked who was responsible. Still unsolved.